Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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