My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dicks are not precious.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
