Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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