Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
