fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
