that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
