Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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