Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
