you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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