Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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