I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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