You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
