i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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