my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Are we still banned from the library?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
