i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize