hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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