bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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