I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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