I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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