He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm just crazy horny about you
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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