Are we in a gay sports bar?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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