i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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