id be glad to
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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