she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
