K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
