sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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