you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
