Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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