She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
