even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
