i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
