I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
