my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
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You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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