i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
