Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
do herpes really smell.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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