Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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