I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize