Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
