Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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