How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize