You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
