I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
