just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
