once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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