im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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