No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Randomize
