Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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