I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We got so high we made milksteak
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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