im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
