Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
