I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
