I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm experimenting with sincerity
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
