I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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