I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
