There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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