He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I FOUND THE LEGS
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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