Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Can I color on your dick again?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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