We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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