She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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