I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
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sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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