please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
